People assume I'm having a go if I tell them how I feel. Maybe I assume that that assume. There's always two sides to my train of thought, how I feel and looking at it from the other persons point of view. Ill tell you it from how I feel but nobody ever listens to me look at it from there point of view and understand. It usually over rides I how I feel. 

Tonight, I wanted to sit and hear about Natalie's day. The little things and the funny things. Because I'm not part of that day without the little bit of time but she was too tired. I needed some of her time because my day was pretty shit. 

She was tired though and she'd had a really busy day so I understand that she wanted some time to herself, and to get to sleep. That over rides the first bit. Cancels it out. Me needing her because me not needing because she needed me to give her the space to do her own thing and let her sleep. 

I sometimes go down stairs and look through the post with the thought in my head that one day she might send me something just out of the blue. Lets me know she had thought about me and wanted to show me how much she loved me. A spontaneous little something that I didn't have to hint at, that it was her own thought to do something for me.. I've always done all the chasing for these things with everyone. I guess it would be nice to feel chased a little. To be shown instead of told. What ever it was I would honestly cherish. The old letters she wrote me are beside my bed because I read them at night. I miss her letters. The old ones are enough for me though!

she barley has time for herself and she is always so busy. What I'm saying is the way she loves me is more than enough. I wouldn't expect it because its a selfish thought. 

I would never know how to tell her these things In a way that she didn't think I was saying she wasn't doing good enough. It's not at all it.