See into hers and find if she's moving on and forgetting because it's easier Or holding me close still, just trying to work out and through all these things.
I wish I knew
I wish there was some way of taking her back and walking her through three years. Proper strong love.
Had a moment last night where two friends where telling me about coming out of hospital after a suicide attempt, three with relationship issues asking for my advice and one getting married all on chat. Sarah after grabbing my attention with boyfriend issues when really he loves her to bits she's just being a bit silly..then asked me to tell her about what was going on with me. No. You know what I'm barley managing to contain and eat and keep myself going right now, maybe I don't want to talk about it because I'm only just managing, doing pretty fucking well. I explained this to her and asked her not to get upset and she did. It hit me in the face with a massive slap of guilt, all the times that nat was struggling I should have been an escape for her not kept her in the same place asking her to let me know what was going on. The first time maybe I know how she felt... Cried. Fucking angry at myself.
I would do so many things much much differently now I've got some understanding.. If the chance comes then I will.
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