I hate it and don't at all, at the same time. It's a strange one to figure out especially at the moment because I don't know how to translate it, I don't even want her to know I just want to be there with her. When she's driving be able to reach over and hold her hand. Being able to cuddle her, I love how she fits so perfectly into my shoulder. One of my favorite nights in Edinburgh was when we went to the cinema with Bella and Will, she let me sit in the puppy nest. She's always just so gentle and warm with me & I could feel her giggling away. Four days seems like a long time but hey, she'll be having a amazing time at T so that's much better. I know how much she misses her rowing family, content to know that she will be a happy badger so I'm trying not to wish the time away too much.

I get butterfly's when I think about seeing her on Tuesday, I'm so fucking exited..