I can't sleep and I can't stop thinking about you. I'm wide open which feels terrible but I can't help it. A few words to let me know she is thinking about me too would mean the absolute world right now. Came home to a snap chat from her and it was just instantly better to have a little piece of kate in my day, it might not have been personal and a general one to everyone, it was a piece none the less. I won't tell her again I miss her because she's happy at T and enjoying herself, besides she already knows. Riffled through my bag to find my flask and put it under my pillow, it's the only physical thing I have that reminds me. It's important and I can't explain why. I'm not brave enough to tell I'm this cut up about being away from her. Frustrated, teary, mess. There aren't enough blankets to bundle together that I can burry myself into and pretend she's here in my arms. 

Suck it up. Suck it up now.