I really don't know why shit got so dark last night but I've not felt quite that rock bottom for a long time. Need to get it in control, hoping it was just the over doing it on the drink because it's been a while. Reached out for jade and I shouldn't have done, think I'm starting to get a bit of a crush on her which is really not good but she's saying she wants to spend more time together as well. I will of course, we've been mates for years but she has a girlfriend and  I don't know where the fuck it's even come from. 

Fuck it, going out on the scean tonight and hopefully manage to lose myself a little bit.